Features

The Herbert Hollar

Herbert's Hot Picks
wed(04): joe's pub - anthony mills/alice smith - 9:30 - MILLSMILLSMILLS!
wed(04): nuyorican cafe - live mc/spoken word/open mic/live music - LEGEND!wed(04): cielo - louie vega/mr.v/markus enochson - house
wed(04): apt - rich medina/guests - old school/soul/funk/afrobeat/80s
wed(04): happy ending - deadly dragon sound - reggae/reggae/reggae/reggae
wed(04): kos - dj obah - soul/funk/rock/world beats/hiphop
wed(04): lotus - ani quinn/guests - hiphop/80s/rock/soul/funk
wed(04): quo - guest djs - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics - kimora lee simmons' b-day
wed(04): belmont lounge - jvc - 70s/80s/classic hiphop/rock/reggae/house - 8 to 2
wed(04): madame x - jon oliver/guests - soul/rock/rare grooves/hiphop - 8-1
wed(04): suede - big ben/jcny - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/house/rock
wed(04): hiro - nick marc/tommy sunshine - rock and roll
wed(04): rhone - liftkid - house
wed(04): afterwork/prey - wicked wayne - r&b/old school/classics/reggae
wed(04): afterwork/vela - dj cosi - soul/funk/hiphop/classics/reggae

thu(05): rock candy - mark ronson/big guests - soul/hiphop/reggae/80s/classics
thu(05): table 50 - stretch armstrong/tommie sunshine - old school/soul/rock/funk
thu(05): crobar - riz/sizzahands/eli - hiphop/r&b/reggae/house/classics/disco
thu(05): sob's - rekha/eddie stats/sumeet - bhangra dance music - live visuals
thu(05): crash mansion - dj lumumba/asho/ukemi/lf - cuban hiphop!
thu(05): lotus lounge - southpaw/rez - soul/funk/b-side/ill stuff - $3 margaritas
thu(05): cielo - timo maas/loco dice - house
thu(05): black betty/bk - emskee/monkone - classics/rare grooves/funk/soul
thu(05): hiro - peter hook from new order - new order after party
thu(05): lotus/flower room - alan boogie - drumnbass/house
thu(05): cherry lounge - clue/dj s&s - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
thu(05): triple crown/bk - cosmo baker/guests - soul/funk/hiphop/classics
thu(05): duvet - larry tee - new wave house/"freaky mash-ups"
thu(05): supreme trading/bk - rob flow - soul/funk/hiphop/reggae/80s/rock
thu(05): ruby falls - dj finesse - hiphop/rock/80s
thu(05): patio/bk - jon oliver - soul/rock/rare grooves/hiphop - 9:30 to 2
thu(05): na - clark kent/kenny summit - hiphop/rock/house
thu(05): aer - jus ske - hiphop/soul/80s/rock/classics
thu(05): afterwork/kanvas - sweets - classics/soul/old school/r&b/80s
thu(05): afterwork/crobar - camillo/big ben/finesse/lucho shadee - hiphop/latin
thu(05): afterwork/jade terrace - guest djs - hiphop/r&b/reggae/reggae-ton/latin
thu(05): afterwork/k lounge - frank swift - 80s/hiphop/classics/latin/reggaeton

fri(06): FREEDOM - DISCOTHEQUE - BIGGER THAN TIMES SQUARE - SEE ABOVE!
fri(06): china one - dantana's birthday!!! - great food/beautiful space/open bar
fri(06): kos - dj obah - funk/soul/rock/world beats - hard entry!
fri(06): mission - oxy cottontail/will/low budget/more - rock/hiphop/old school
fri(06): sullivan room - guest djs - house/techno
fri(06): supper club - self - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(06): lq - brinka/johhny famulari/ivan - hiphop/reggae/classics/r&b/latin
fri(06): taj - rotating roster of female deejays - hiphop/r&b/reggae/soul
fri(06): tribeca grand - language - soul/funk/classics/afrobeat/breaks/80s r&b
fri(06): roxy - snatch one - hiphop/r&b/reggae - first fridays
fri(06): lotus - big guests/angola/michael t/naomi - house/rock/hiphop
fri(06): table 50 - qool marv - soul/funk/hiphop/classics/world beat/house
fri(06): lot 61 - dj soul - hiphop/r&b/reggae
fri(06): time hotel - jay wright/big guests - hiphop/r&b/soul
fri(06): duvet - dj reach - hiphop/80s/rock
fri(06): show - big ben - hiphop/r&b/reggae/rock/80s
fri(06): ruby falls - ani quinn - hiphop/r&b/rock/80s/pop
fri(06): pink elephant - guest djs - house - trendy shmendy bring the fendi
fri(06): crobar - sasha/josh wink - house
fri(06): afterwork/bliss bar - dj sweets the afterwork assassin!!! - old school
fri(06): afterwork/vue - jinx paul/tijeras - hiphop/r&b/reggae/latin/house

sat(07): starfoods - osiris/guests - dope brazilianafrohouse music/live drums
sat(07): apt - qool marv(upstairs) - soul/funk/hiphop/classics/world beat/house
sat(07): bungalow 8 - eli - new wave/electro pop/rock/hip-hop
sat(07): discotheque - djs from 5 in the AM till sunday brunch - house
sat(07): underbar - dj jvc - hiphop/rock/soul/r&b/reggae/house/anything (dope dj)
sat(07): etoile - goldfinger - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(07): sullivan room - hipp-e/sleepyface + boo/guests - house/techno
sat(07): stitch - greg poole - hiphop/rock/80s/house/classics - drinking spot!
sat(07): triple crown/bk - language - soul/breaks/funk/afro/classics/hiphop
sat(07): lot 61 - guest djs - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(07): strata - big ben - hiphop/r&b/reggae/house/classics/80s/latin
sat(07): copacabana - camillo/victor manuel live - latin music/reggae-ton/hiphop
sat(07): crobar - david morales - house

sun(08): 1073 atlantic b/w franklin + classon/bk - ruben toro - house + classics
sun(08): lotus - goldfinger/soul (rotate) - hiphop/r&b/reggae/latin
sun(08): apt - angola/neil aline - house music
sun(08): select - mary mac/playtime - hiphop/r&b/reggae/reggaeton/classics
sun(08): deep - camillo/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sun(08): taj - big ben/brinka - hiphop/r&b/reggae/rock/80s/house
sun(08): lobby - snatch one - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sun(08): temple - jazzy joyce - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sun(08): bkny/bk - guest djs - reggae music tributes

mon(09): cielo - francois k/guests - future dub/space vibes/house
mon(09): aer - rocktacon - 80s/rock/hiphop/pop
mon(09): sapphire - dj spun/joeski - house
mon(09): apt - eli escobar/bobbitto/spinna (rotation) - soul/funk/disco/olskool
mon(09): bungalow 8 - dj soul/rotating guests - hiphop/classics/celebs/models/etc
mon(09): sway - oxy cottontail/rotating guests - rock/hiphop/soul/etc.
mon(09): quo - mad linx - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics

tue(10): sapphire - eman/lola - deep house
tue(10): joe's pub - guest djs/live performances - soul/classics/hiphop/house
tue(10): table 50 - eli/isis/such+such - old school/new school/no school rules
tue(10): union square lounge/coffee shop - emskee - soul/funk/old school
tue(10): le souk - dj liftkid/guests - all different kinds of house/live drums
tue(10): afterwork/58 - lucho - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/latin
tue(10): afterwork/justin's - bobby trends/commish - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
tue(10): afterwork/aubette - snatch 1 - hiphop/r&b/reggae/soul/classics

Herbert's Heard
1. "I Want You" -- Marvin Gaye (7 Samurai Remix. WHOA!)
2. "We're Almost There" -- Jackson 5 (DJ Spinna Remix. WOW!)
3. "Make a Girl Feel" -- Teairra Mari
4. "Standing Strong (Without U)" -- Maxine Inniss (Fuzion Records. New House.)
5. "Written in the Stars" -- Motor City Soul (Atjazz remix)

Word To Herbert
"It's About to Be a What????" ... "GIRL FIGHT."

This song is ridiculous. Utterly. I mean, I had to buy it because it's got a hot Lil' Jon beat, and it's got energy, and they have it on rotation at Hot, so you know my commercial parties will be asking for it, but I don't think I would have otherwise. To be honest, that's how I feel about a lot of popular songs today. But oh well: Such is the deejay's dilemma. But back to the song. Doesn't it just perfectly sum up the social behaviours of young women today? I mean, you've heard me talk about the new Generation Z before: All the men are becoming like women, talking lots of gossip and spending hours in the bathroom and in front of the television watching E and MTV, and all the women are becoming like men, preying on us like aliens on cattle, demanding hairless, svelte body shapes and pretty eyes, staring at our asses and breasts and sizing us up and making us feel so uncomfortable!

What happened to the days when all you needed to have was money in your pocket and an Iroc Z in your driveway?

And now, they're FIGHTING. Ohhhh are they kicking some ass. This past weekend, I saw 4 seprate girl fights ... in 24 hours! The first one was at the corner of Avalon on 20th and 6th Avenue. This one big botty gal and this other little gal were yelling at each other, and then the bigger one roared really loud like when you pissed off your dad and the veins bulged from his neck and his eyes watered and his whole face became one big open mouth. And then they started going at it. I wanted to stay and watch, because, as you know, I take great pleasure in watching people kick the crap out of each other for no good reason, but the traffic was racing up behind me and I had to go. Then, 10 minutes later on my way home to Brooklyn, I was on Broadway and Washington Place, NYU territory, and all of a sudden, whilst at a red light, I catch ANOTHER girl fight breaking out below Tisch Hall, and you see hair flying and earrings jingling and all kinds of stuff.

Whoa.

Then, Saturday night, a girl fight broke out AGAIN around Avalon, this time a couple of Hispanic women were going at it, and all you could hear was lots of "mami" and "bit*h" and stuff. "I broke the hell out like I had chicken pox" cuz I've seen Hispanic women fight first-hand at my Umbrella uptown gig, and they do not play! Blood on their purses, on their men's t-shirts, skin beneath their fingernails, and that's not even the Dominican fights. Dominican fights are for the most part CRAZY. You don't run from them. You just drop and play dead.

"I don't fight, I don't argue. I just beat that bit*h with a bottle."

I see. So then, that very same night, on the way home, me and NYC's biggest gigolo, Prince A La Freaky, aka Freak Diddy With the Keys to the City, we drove right through a HUGE girl-fight brawl on Myrtle just off Flatbush. I was afraid they were going to start wrestling on the car. It felt oddly like the time my family and I drove through the Safari at Six Flags Great Adventure, and all these crazy ostriches and baboons were running about. I can still hear my mom panic and scream at my dad "Roy!!! They're gonna take apart the car!!!" Though the Pontiac is a tank, it's no match for 7 tumbling BIG botty gals throwing each other around by the hair. And all the guys just stood there and watched, peering up from their 2-ways from time to time, when enough "ohhh"'s and "oooh"'s let out, indicating someone caught someone with a good one.

I wanted to get out and break it up, being the peace loving good samaritan that I am, but Freaky told me if I got out, he was going to jump in the driver's seat and take off and leave my stupid white ass there. I prolly would've been skinned alive, cuz chicks these days ain't playing. I mean, just listen to the music. Ciara's wrecking shop, talking about "handling sh*t" and kicking butt, and now that new Teairra Mari gal is straight calling us dudes out and letting us know that we suck and can't make her feel good. (My wife would argue with that one, of course. Right, honey? Right? RIGHT???) And now, with queen nasty gal Foxy Brown back in the mix, the original bad-ass chick that walks and talks like a dude, no creature with testicles is safe.

"I like it hardcore/I'm from Brooklyn, you can leave your Timberlands on."

Just last night, I forgot to call my wife and tell her I was going to be an hour-and-a-half late picking her up from the gym. I dropped her off at 7:00PM, and though she said she'd be done by 8:30PM three times, it didn't quite register and I didn't come get her till 9:50PM when I was done my workout in the gym (talking to Massi from Def Jam. IT'S YOUR FAULT!!!!). When I picked her up, she slammed the door when she got in, and I knew I was in trouble, but then, she gave me real BEAT-DOWN!!! She just started wailing on my, on my arm, like over and over and over again like a special move in the video games when you go up and down, left and right, diagonall zig zag with the joystick, hit A and B together 3 times, then C, then D, then the triangle button, but only after your special forces bar is at its peak, and then you let out like 50 Bruce Lee punches in a row like Jet Li's "No Shadow Kick."

I wish it was called "No Bruises Punch" because my arm is nasty dark blue and yellow mustard color right now.

Onto business, and then I gotta go make moves.

This past Friday, FREEDOM was so beautiful. One of the best rooms we've had to date. We played lots of stuff we've never played before, and the room must have been filled with about 75 percent females. We didn't want to piss any of them off, so we played songs like "Let's Hear It for the Boy" and "I'm Every Woman" and they went off real well. Every Friday night, there exists the best party in town. Cheap door cover, moderately priced drinks, huge dance floor, no door drama, a BEAUTIFUL crowd, and the best music to dance to.

WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE???

Good health, peace, success,

Herbert

Herbert's Gigs
fridays - the freedom party - discotheque (17 w.19th b/w 5th + 6th)
#1 friday night dance event in NYC - join 700 people and singalong!
classic hiphop/classic r&b/80s/dancehall/classic house/new soul/funk
$6 funky cold medinas - cool people! - cheap cover - dope vibe!
MORE room to dance - MORE space at the bar - MORE speaker sound!
(and a back room boasting a sexy lounge for all y'all bullshi**ers!!)
10 to 4 - $5/$7/$10 list ... $10/$15 g.a. - djherbert@earthlink.net

saturdays - exclusive - bogart's (99 park ave + 39th street)
hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock/house on 2 floors by herbert + smooth
girls FREE till 12/$10 after - $15 fellas - free vodka 10 to 11!
10 to 4 - dress code in full effect - rsvp: djherbert@earthlink.net

Message DJ Herbert and tell him what you think

DJ Herbert

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