Features

The Herbert Hollar

Herbert's Hot Picks
wed(16): sob's - boogie blind/x-ecutioners/BIG hiphop luminaries - big L tribute!!
wed(16): apt - rich medina - old school/soul/funk/afrobeat/80s
wed(16): white rabbit - gregory poole-owitz/guests - future dance sounds
wed(16): madame x - jon oliver - soul/rock/rare grooves/hiphop - 8-1
wed(16): duke + duchess - guest djs - hiphop/r&b/80s
wed(16): tuko - knockout kings - hiphop/classics/reggae/new wave/house
wed(16): cielo - kevin hedge/louie vega - soulful house
wed(16): suede - big ben - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/house/rock
wed(16): lotus - ani quinn/soul (rotate) - hiphop/r&b/rock
wed(16): ripple bar/bk - uncly kyle - soul/funk/afrobeat/house
wed(16): abaya - snatch - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
wed(16): baraza - eric rodriguez/dj irv/steve martin - soul/olskool/latin/funk
wed(16): afterwork/b1 - marc smooth/center - soul/jazz/r&b/classics - 5PM
wed(16): afterwork/rumor - snatch 1/kaos/self - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics

thu(17): sob's - rich medina - afrobeat/afrofunk/afrohouse/afroafro - jumpnfunk!!
thu(17): guernica - blessed/monica pineda/reborn/selly - house/old school/soul
thu(17): tribe - red rokk - hiphop/rock/80s/reggae
thu(17): black betty/bk - monk one/emskee - soul/funk/classics
thu(17): triple crown/bk - qool marv/cosmo baker - soul/funk/classics/reggae/etc.
thu(17): splashlight studios - guest djs/maxim girl search/fantasy party - ????
thu(17): na - kenny summit/clark kent - hiphop/rock/house
thu(17): social club - da union djs - hiphop/r&b/reggae/reggae-ton/classics
thu(17): quo - scumfrog - house
thu(17): eugene's - camillo/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/reggae-ton/latin
thu(17): 55 bar - eli degibri quartet - live jazz - 2129299883
thu(17): cherry lounge - dj s&s/dj clue - hiphop/r&b/reggae
thu(17): sullivan room - direct drive djs - breaks/drumnbass/2 step/free skool
thu(17): afterwork/deep - kulcha/live comedy - hiphop/r&b/reggae/house - 6pm
thu(17): afterwork/kanvas - sweets - classics/soul/old school/r&b/80s

fri(18): FREEDOM - DISCOTHEQUE - BIGGER THAN TIMES SQUARE - SEE ABOVE!
fri(18): hiro - guest djs - hiphop/house/rock - celebs/glitz/glamor/oy vey
fri(18): knitting factory - scribe/busquelo/jazz ensemble - dancefloor exploration
fri(18): taj - elle/beverly bond/miss saigon/more - hiphop/r&b/reggae/soul/80s
fri(18): lot 61 - dj soul/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(18): sin sin - redd rok - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s
fri(18): starfoods - dj eleven/guests - soul/classics/underground (ruvane = punk!)
fri(18): crobar - sander kleinenberg - house
fri(18): flow - derrick spaulding/jimmy ponzio/shonuff - hiphop/r&b/reggae/house
fri(18): show - big ben - hiphop/reggae/rock/80s/house
fri(18): select - dj reach - hiphop/80s/rock
fri(18): o2 lounge/time hotel/times square - diamond/j.d. - r&b/soul/classics/rap
fri(18): supper club - mr. c!!! - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(18): eugene - kulcha - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(18): cellar bar - chris + kai/raji k/alterimage - house
fri(18): satalla - dj big joe - free world music dance party
fri(18): pepper's lounge - spinna - soul music all night long!
fri(18): sullivan room - dj true/miller cruz/alma dancers/live drums - neobrasil!
fri(18): afterwork/vue - derrick spaulding/jinx paul - hiphop/reggae/house
fri(18): afterwork/bliss bar - dj sweets the afterwork assassin!!! - old school

sat(19): etoile - goldfinger/precise - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(19): shelter - timmy regisford/guests - soulful house/olskool
sat(19): louis - jd allen trio - live jazz - 212.673.1190
sat(19): starfoods - osiris/guests - dope house music/live percussion
sat(19): route 85a - redlox/guests - soul/funk/r&b/hiphop
sat(19): crobar - boris - house (12 hr set!!! damn i'd be bored)
sat(19): loft party/69 14th st + 6th ave/6th fl - great guest djs - house/house
sat(19): loft party/16 w.21st st b/w 5th + 6th - hiphop/r&b/reggae/house/classics
sat(19): nv - derrick spaulding/peter parker/sal morale - hiphop/r&b/reggae/house
sat(19): glo - reach/spinbad/ani/soul (rotation) - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock
sat(19): discotheque - david morales - house - till the weee hours!!!
sat(19): el flamingo - snatch - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(19): underbar - dj jvc - hiphop/rock/soul/r&b/reggae/house/anything (dope dj!)
sat(19): satalla - guest djs - the "i love guyana" party - cosi tak ur grl!
sat(19): supper club - soundproof/harry bellyfonte/legend sound - hiphop/reggae

sun(20): supreme trading - greg f-king poole!/dinesh/cameo/live mc - UK dance ish
sun(20): fashion 40 - marc smooth/marlon b - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sun(20): 1073 atlantic b/w franklin + classon/bk - ruben toro - house + classics
sun(20): mouton lounge - crooked/dj eleven - everything dope
sun(20): piano's - scratch famous/selector JD/guests - reggae/reggae
sun(20): lq - self - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sun(20): lotus - soul/goldffinger/guests (rotation) - hiphop/r&b/reggae/latin
sun(20): select - big ben/ody rock - hiphop/r&b/reggae/house/80s/rock
sun(20): bkny - guest djs - reggae/reggae/reggae/reggae
sun(20): sob's - tigerstyle/rekha/phil money/live visuals - bhangra dance!!
sun(20): hammerstein ballroom - wisin y yandel/hector el bambino/camillo - UH-OH!!
sun(20): vue - envy/will - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics

mon(21): cielo - francois k/guests - future dub/space vibes/ouse
mon(21): apt - eli escobar/bobbitto/spinna (rotation) - soul/funk/disco/olskool
mon(21): sapphire lounge - disciple/thomas d - house
mon(21): bungalow 8 - dj soul - hiphop/classics
mon(21): joe's pub - ra the rugged man/masta killa/black market militia - live ish
mon(21): table 50 - nu-mark/center/miles/dusk - soul/funk/hiphop/latin
mon(21): smith's jazz bar - duane eubank's quartet - 2122463268

tue(22): sapphire - eman/lola - deep house - happy b-day, miss boogie!!!!
tue(22): joe's pub - guest djs/live performances - soul/classics/hiphop/house
tue(22): lobby - self/will - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
tue(22): union square lounge/coffee shop - emskee - soul/funk/old school
tue(22): le souk - liftkid/kane juan - great house music/live percussion
tue(22): sob's - talib kweli - real mc ish - 2122434940
tue(22): afterwork/aubette - snatch 1 - hiphop/r&b/reggae/soul/classics
tue(22): afterwork/58 - lucho - hiphop/r&b/reggae/latin/house - 5pm

Herbert's Heard
1. "Whisper" -- Yin Yang Twins (Genius.)
2. "Feel It in the Air" -- Beenie Siegel feat. Melissa (Beautiful track.)
3. "Hot Baby/The Go-Go-Dancer" -- Cassio Ware (Dope new house track.)
4. "As" -- Stevie Wonder
5. "Don't Disturb This Groove" -- The System
6. "Baby I'm Scared of You" -- Womack and Womack (Please go listen to it. Now.)

Word To Herbert
Yaaaaaaaayy! 3 cheers for Herbert! He's actually getting the "Holler" to you on time for a change. It's Wednesday, you haven't punched out yet, and I'm about to send it to you. That's how it should be done. Timeliness is next to cleanliness, which is right next to Godliness, of course. I almost didn't get to it on time, because I was on the phone with Best Buy for no less than 20 hours, waiting to get through to someone about my Rewards Zone account. Best Buy has the all-time WORST service ever. Not only do they run from you in the store when you need help, hiding behind the big screen televisions till you leave, but now the automated voice on their hotline is screening his freaking calls! And, of course, I can't just push zero. Nah. That'd be too easy. Why make the customer experience an enjoyable one?

Wait a minute ... I'm getting something.

"To go back to the main menu, press 9."

No!!! No. I will not press 9. I don't want to go back to the main menu. I want to speak to a customer representative. I will press zero. ZERO.

"That is an invalid entry. Please listen to your options again."

No!! Zero zero zero. ZERO!!! Damn what's wrong with these freaking idiots?? ZERO!

"That is an invalid entry."

ZERO!! ZERO!! ZERO!! ZERO!! ZERO!! ZERO!! ZERO!! ZERO!! ZERO!! ZERO!!

"Please don't try to speak with anything living at this time."

What?? NO!!! Fine. FINE!!! 9! 9! 9! There! I'll go back!

(French.)

I know it's you, you son-of-a-bi*ch. You don't speak French. You're not from France. CONNECT ME TO A STINKING OPERATOR NOW!!!!

"Goobye."

I don't know what's worse: This experience with Best Buy or catching my penis in the zipper. Yes. You heard me. I dun caught it in the zipper, like that part in the movie "There's Something About Mary." I'm guilty of it. Though I didn't do it that seriously, I still did it and it hurt. More of a scary hurt. More of a "Oh my God please no don't do this to me!" kind of hurt that has you hyperventilating until you look down and see that everything's okay. We're good. No blood. Herbert JR. is still in the cards. I don't know if I can say the same for the Bonneville, though. I've only had the car for a week, and I've already got 2 tickets. Can you believe that ish? What a joke. WAIT!! I gotta go check up on it real quick. Be right back!

Okay. I'm back. We're good. Still only 2 tickets. Damn I wish I had a driveway. Makes me miss the Olds. I mean, granted all those things were wrong with it, but at least I had a driveway. One more thing I forgot to add ... the key was broken off into the ignition. You couldn't start it unless you had the other broken half, so I kept the broken half on my key chain and did just that. It's very romantic, if you think about it. Like those heart pendants where the guy and girl each take a half, and the only time you have a whole, working heart is when the halves are together.

Okay. That's enough.

Speaking of hearts, Valentine's Day was especially romantic for my baby and me. We went to Paradou in the Meatpacking District, and though the food was good and the ambiance funky, it wasn't worth the pre-fix price. But hell ... I could've been with my lady in McDonald's ... forget that ... the McDonald's Express on Myrtle in Brooklyn, and it would have been the most romantic night ever still. (Yeah. I gets busy with the brownie points. And I have to, because I'm driving her crazy with my records.) We could've been at ... Roll Roaster on 11th Street and 3rd Avenue, and we'd still be in love. (Oh Herbert????? You can put your records ANYWHERE.) I bet you the food would've been as good. Have you ever had the opportunity, the pleasure of having a roast beef sandwich from Roll Roaster? SOOOO bangin'. So damn good. Everything they cook is fresh, done on the spot, the way you like it. And their cheese fries ... what??? So good. They're prolly making a KILLING where they at, right by Webster Hall and the NYU watering holes, all those people drunk and high.

I'd be afraid to walk in there with a case of the munchies. I might come out on a gurney, hauled into an ambulance and sent to the Emergency Room at Bellevue. That could be some pretty dangerous munchie food. But whatever ... when you got the munchies, you'll eat anything ... and love it. Like, you can drink a bottle of water from the deli and be like "This water is sooo good. So tasty. Oh my God." I think the worst thing I ever caught myself eating following a ... forest fire ...was ... 3 day old hard rice with soy sauce and mustard. And my friend thought it was the most delicious thing in the world. Now, since then, I've sort of stopped ... starting forest fires, because they get in the way of things you need to do, but, the other day, I relapsed with my old roomie, and get this: We got so damn high, we got too lazy too eat!!!! Can you believe that???

That's when you stop for good.

Whoever was on HOT 97 the other night should stop rapping for good! It was such a horrible rhyme, I couldn't begin to tell you. This dude said (and I quote) "I got your mom ... in a thong .. She's from Guam ... I got a hard-on ... There's viagra in the car." I SWEAR!!! It was the worst. I couldn't believe that was allowed on Hot 97. I mean, I'd rather watch a night of freestyles on public access, when they get all weeded out and stupid in the booth, than EVER listen to that wackness ever again. They were so bad, even HERBERT would feel comfortable stepping up to them and battling. DANG!

Freedom was so special last Friday. We hit them with some slow dances in the end, "Roni" by Bobby Brown and "Don't Disturb This Groove" by The System, and even the all-time sweethearts track "Tender Love" by the Force MDs, but you know Herbert couldn't wait to hit them with Stevie Wonder's "As." You wanna know why FREEDOM is the best? Because the lights were on, there were about 100 people left, everyone was ready to go, it was like 4:30 in the morning, but when I put on that "As" record, EVERYONE stayed and danced and stomped on the floor and clapped and really blew the staff at the club away with their fervor and passion for music. And when Cosi threw on "Baby I'm Scared of You," the Womack and Womack legendary classic, they were like "Okay. This is too much. NOW you've done it" and they almost broke down in tears.

Then came the round of applause. That's music. That's a party.

I did hear that the Grammy version of "Across the Universe" was seriously amazing, but I couldn't make it that far after J-Lo and Queen Latifah. Respect to both of them, they're doing their thing, but they're prolly the last people I'd think to listen to singing at the GRAMMY's no less. Those two performances threw me off so bad, I didn't even get the chance to hear John Legend do his thing. I'm sorry. I'm going to watch it again and give you guys the full review.

Love, good health, much success and kuchichagaliya,

Herbert

PS -- Have you been noticing all the Philly license plates around lately? Have they really done it? Have they upped and left the City of Brotherly Love for good? I know Smary Jones' loss was upsetting, and the nightlife over there is pretty bad unless you're a white, 30-something yuppie with a BMW and rich parents, but now the Eagles lost on top of all that?? Dang. I don't blame them. COME TO FREEDOM!!

Herbert's Gigs
every friday - the freedom party - discotheque
(17 w.19th b/w 5th + 6th)
#1 friday night dance event in NYC - grand opening saw over 1100 people!!
classic hiphop/classic r&b/80s/dancehall/classic house/new soul/funk
$6 funky cold medinas - cool people! - cheap drinks/cover - dope vibe!
NOW more room to dance - NOW easier bar access - NOW a dope sound system!
(and a back room boasting a sexy lounge for all y'all bullshi**ers!!)
10 to 4 - $5/$7/$10 list ... $10/$15 g.a. - rsvp: djherbert@earthlink.net

this saturday - herbert on hiatus from social club - stay tuned!!
tonight - umbrella new york
- 440 w. 202nd (10th ave)
herbert thugs it out washington hts style! dominicana stand up!
hip-hop/r&b/reggae/reggaeton - live visuals - very live crowd
11:30 to 4:30 - new crazy venue!!! - rsvp djherbert@earthlink.net



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