Features

The Herbert Hollar

Herbert's Hot Picks
wed(09): drive-in studios - david hollands/xtatika/kunk fu show - house - 7 to 12
wed(09): apt - rich medina - old school/soul/funk/afrobeat/80s
wed(09): madame x - jon oliver - soul/rock/rare grooves/hiphop - 8-1
wed(09): duke + duchess - guest djs - hiphop/r&b/80s
wed(09): cielo - kevin hedge/louie vega - soulful house
wed(09): manhatta - small change/dj shakey/guests - reggae/soul
wed(09): suede - big ben - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/house/rock
wed(09): pm - crooked - hiphop/reggae/rock/80's/house/disco/classics
wed(09): show - self/soundproof - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics

wed(09): gypsy tea room - jo jo flores/eno - house/rock/80s
wed(09): lotus - ani quinn/soul (rotate) - hiphop/r&b/rock
wed(09): ripple bar/bk - uncly kyle - soul/funk/afrobeat/house
wed(09): bb king's - mos def - 212.307.7171
wed(09): sob's - eric roberson/sol village live soul - 212.243.4940
wed(09): afterwork/rumor - snatch 1/kaos/self - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics

thu(10): guernica - mocha sunflower/selly/guests - house/old school/soul
thu(10): starfoods - eddie stats/max glazer - reggae/reggae/reggae/reggae/reggae
thu(10): table 50 - d nice/guests - hiphop/rock/soul/funk/classics
thu(10): tribe - red rokk - hiphop/rock/80s/reggae
thu(10): black betty/bk - monk one/emskee - soul/funk/classics
thu(10): select - crooked - hiphop/rock/80s/classics
thu(10): joe's pub - miss mary mackalicious - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
thu(10): lush - guest djs - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
thu(10): le souk - melvin moore - house
thu(10): tribeca grand/downstairs - justine d/nick zinner(yeah, yeah, yeah) - rock
thu(10): triple crown/bk - qool marv/cosmo baker - soul/funk/classics/reggae/etc.
thu(10): cherry lounge - dj s&s/dj clue - hiphop/r&b/reggae
thu(10): ruby falls - big ben - hiphop/r&b/rock/80s
thu(10): aer lounge - jus ske - 80s/rock/hiphop/whatever he can get in!
thu(10): social club - da union djs - hiphop/r&b/reggae/reggae-ton/classics
thu(10): deep - kulcha - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/reggaeton - 6pm till 4am
thu(10): halcyon - qool marv - old school/soul/classics/funk/house/afrobeat - 7-10
thu(10): na - kenny summit/clark kent - hiphop/rock/house
thu(10): sweet rhythm - jd allen trio - live jazz excellence - 212.255.3626
thu(10): gypsy tea room - todd mallis/ettienne - hiphop/rock/80s/house/pop
thu(10): sob's - antibalas - live afrobeat - 212.243.4940
thu(10): morgan's bar - dj obah - world beats/hiphop/soulful house/rock/more
thu(10): afterwork/kanvas - sweets - classics/soul/old school/r&b/80s

fri(11): FREEDOM - DISCOTHEQUE - BIGGER THAN TIMES SQUARE - SEE ABOVE!
fri(11): lot 61 - dj soul/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(11): sin sin - redd rok - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s
fri(11): starfoods - dj eleven/guests - soul/classics/underground (ruvane = punk!)
fri(11): 17 - crooked - hiphop/rock/80s/classics
fri(11): strata - steelie bashment/afrique/libre love - lover's rock (reggae)
fri(11): table 50 - qool marv - old school/soul/classics/funk/house/afrobeat
fri(11): gypsy tea room - vanjee/omi - house/hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/pop
fri(11): mission - jackie christie/boy bangkok - house music
fri(11): pink elephant - vanjee - house
fri(11): crobar - erick morillo - house
fri(11): eugene - kulcha - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(11): cellar bar - brendan benke/frank rempe/mikey g - house
fri(11): show - big ben - hiphop/reggae/rock/80s/house
fri(11): moe's/bk - dj obah - world beats/hiphop/r&b/rock/80s/more
fri(11): tribeca grand - dj language - soul/funk/electro/afrobeat/cool ish
fri(11): viscaya - dj riz - hiphop/r&b/rock/80s/whatever the rich kids want!
fri(11): roxy - suparockin e-kim - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(11): satalla - dj big joe - free world music dance party
fri(11): crash mansion - dj synapse/breeze evahflowin/guests - underground hiphop
fri(11): triple crown/bk - dj ayres/paul nice - everything seriously funky
fri(11): taj - dj elle/beverly bond/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock/old school
fri(11): supper club - self - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(11): select - dj reach - hiphop/80s/rock
fri(11): duvet - frank delour - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock
fri(11): copacabana - snatch one - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics

sat(12): social club - herbert/slinkee/cel - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock/old school
sat(12): etoile - goldfinger/precise - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(12): shelter - timmy regisford/guests - soulful house/olskool
sat(12): louis - jd allen trio - live jazz - 212.673.1190
sat(12): apt - qool marv - old school/soul/classics/funk/house/afrobeat
sat(12): coda - ski hi/cee lo - hiphop/r&b/reggae/reggaeton/80s/house
sat(12): 58 - ody roc - hiphop/r&b/rock/80s
sat(12): starfoods - osiris/guests - dope house music/live percussion
sat(12): glo - soul - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock
sat(12): tribeca grand/downstairs - justine d/jdh/dave p - rock/electro
sat(12): nublu - mkl - soul/afrobeat/funk/house/classics
sat(12): strata - big ben - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(12): duvet - crooked - hiphop/rock/80s/classics/house
sat(12): joe's pub - dj eleven/g. brown - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(12): chetty red - van vader/center - old school/funk/soul/r&b/reggae
sat(12): crobar - david waxman - house
sat(12): octagon - da union djs - hiphop/r&b/reggae/reggae-ton/classics
sat(12): copacabana - camillo/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/latin
sat(12): na - vanjee/marc ronson/q tip - hiphop/r&b/80s/rock/old school/house
sat(12): route 85a - redlox/guests - soul/funk/r&b/hiphop
sat(12): temple - dangeruss/sizzahands/moody - hiphop/r&b/reggae/house/80s/rock

sun(13): 1073 atlantic b/w franklin + classon/bk - ruben toro - house + classics
sun(13): mouton lounge - crooked/dj eleven - everything dope
sun(13): piano's - scratch famous/selector JD/guests - reggae/reggae
sun(13): lq - self - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sun(13): lotus - camillo/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/latin
sun(13): deep - danny krivit - house

mon(14): cielo - francois k/guests - future dub/space vibes/house
mon(14): apt - eli escobar/bobbitto/spinna (rotation) - soul/funk/disco/olskool
mon(14): sapphire lounge - big guest house djs (small place, though) - house
mon(14): bungalow 8 - dj soul - hiphop/classics
mon(14): odea - qool marv - soul/songs of love/the sounds of loving/splish splash
mon(14): joe's pub - maya azacuna live/dj parler - soul/funk/rare groove
mon(14): butter - dj mos - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/80s
mon(14): sway - guest djs - rock/hiphop/funk/soul/old school

tue(15): sapphire - eman/lola - deep house - happy b-day, miss boogie!!
tue(15): joe's pub - guest djs/live performances - soul/classics/hiphop/house
tue(15): lobby - self/will - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
tue(15): cain - crooked - hiphop/rock/80s/house/disco/classics
tue(15): union square lounge/coffee shop - emskee - soul/funk/old school
tue(15): le souk/nick ac - liftkid - great house music/live percussion
tue(15): afterwork/aubette - snatch 1 - hiphop/r&b/reggae/soul/classics

Herbert's Heard
1. "One Thing" -- Amerie
2. "Kopa Dance" -- Elephant Man
3. "Throwback" -- Usher (This should be HUGE already!)

Word To Herbert
Hey everyone! This Thursday is the start of Fashion Week here in the Big Apple. And you know what Fashion Week means, right? ABSOLUTELY FUC*ING NOTHING! Nothing at all!! You can still catch me in a bootleg promo t-shirt, dumpy jeans and black kicks. WORD IS BORN! Oh ... wait. It does mean something. It means that NYC will be under attack by wack parties, snotty, sniffling biotches requesting that new Gwen Stefani hit, lots of people sitting cross-legged with scarves, waiting for their daddy's credit card to be approved, and second-rate promoters trying to hook their high-school buddies up with some model('s friends). Yes. That's right. Fashion Week is upon us. Let's take this time to welcome the festivities! Join me in wishing our stylish visitors a big hearty GO BACK TO FU*KING PARIS YOU SISSIES!
"1 and then the 2, 2 and then the 3, 3 and then the 4, then you gotta ... "
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Adventures in Brooklyn (I)

Let's kill all the rumors: Beat Street is open for business. At least the sublevel still is, and will be, and that's all that matters. Were you really trying to buy that 14K gold "Pinky and the Brain" medallion upstairs? Or maybe the dual cassette tape deck that "features" a record button? Cmon. Even if you're not a music fiend, you can still get "Big Bad Kung Fu Butt" on DVD for $8.99! Big shout out to Big Dris from HBO'S "The Wire." He was doing a photo shoot behind the booth, and of course Herbert ran up on him and called him out. "Play some jungle, selectah! Ease back! Boh boh boh boh!" (If y'all didn't know, Dris is an ILL jungle MC and DJ.) Snatch One was of course in the building, and didn't hesitate to let everyone know (publicity hog)! Now. The question remains, "when" will The Jackson 5's "Let Me Show You the Way" be in, Joon??

Outside, it's madness. I feel as if I'm sticking out like a sore thumb. I don't know. Maybe I'm a little too self-conscious. I'm definitely one of the few white dudes out there, but that's really never been an issue for me. It's just that ...well ... if the color of my skin doesn't draw attention, then the sheer size and magnitude of my cranium will. Anyways, the important lesson from all this is that it has to be DAMN hard for any individuals not a part of the "majority" to make an attempt to co-exist peacefully and rationally, free from stress. Hats off to the millions of black people across the globe who've not only come this far in such conditions, but who've also come this far in far WORSE conditions which included overt hatred, ignorance and undying oppression.

So. I'm waiting for the bus to take me up Fulton, and the illest of reggae riddims is cranking from the mixtape stand. Better still, there's this reggae dance video on the television where they got this girl and a sidekick in the background doing all the dances. Even better still, an elderly woman was doing all the moves right then and there in front of the store! Big up to the Original Dancehall Queen! Y'all don't know! She was really doing it. She had everyone at the bus stop smiling and dancing, and if that's not beautiful, than I don't know what is. But back to the dance video. The girl starting doing this funny thing that looked like she was screwing in a light bulb. I took a closer look, and in fact, that's exactly what she was doing! She was doing the "Screw De Bulb" dance, and it was crazy! Then she did a little flip on it, and threw the bulb down to the ground. This was incidentally titled the "Crash De Bulb" dance.

I'm gonna make a new dance called "Spackle the Wall." PULLL UP!!!

Tuesday morning, about 1:28, "pull up" is exactly what I did. IN MY BRAND ... NEW ... PIMPED OUT ... Pontiac Bonneville 1998 4 Door SE. I drove the sucker all the way back from Chicago. Straight. 13 hours, including an hour's worth of gas stops and bathroom breaks. From Lake Shore Drive to the Skyway through the South Side of Chicago (I was thinking of stopping and saying hello to Common, but he don't know who I am), to the Indiana Toll Road through the flattest land I've ever seen, to the Ohio Turnpike through the thickest fog I've ever seen, through Penn State land to the Lincoln Tunnel and back home. I became one with the car, and near enemies with my wife when I belched the "Food and Fuel" special in Harrisburg. 'Twas near minus 15 degrees, and she rocked the windows open till Brooklyn.

Yeah yeah, Noah. I know what you're thinking, old friend. You're thinking what I'm thinking. The Oldsmobile 98. Let me fill them in. People, the Oldsmobile '98 was my first car. It was a hand-me-down, with about 100,000 plus miles on it, and it was in no way, shape or form deserving of its "98" name. In fact, the "98" wasn't the year but something to do with the make. Or maybe the car manufacturers got it messed up and accidentally turned around the "89." Or upside and around with the "68." Whatever. The Oldsmobile 98 was my hooptie. "We put 'em on the front, we put 'em on the hood. Some sat up with the Herbert, they made him feel good. My posse's getting bigger, there's much too many freaks. My muffler's draggin', my suspension is weak." (Had to throw you back for a quick second. I know you remember the video on The Box). The 98 was a beast, a true grocery getter, a boat on wheels.

My antenna was a coat hanger. The original one broke off when I clipped the side of some bushes taking a back route home by the bay. It was pretty ugly, sitting their, original loop in tack. The ceiling of the ride was coming apart, with big rips and tears from the time Trocki tried to put his 10-speed bike in (I'll never forget that, a**hole!). I couldn't ride with the windows down, because the wind would blow the foam from the ceiling all over the place and I'd get pulled over for blinding other drivers. The whole car made a weird purring noise--it was more like a screaching hum, honestly--that would change tones when you attempted to work the power windows. The last and best feature she had was the shocks. They were awful, but they made for good jokes when we popped the Pharcyde tape in and I jerked on the breaks. My baby jumped up and down, and it made all the little girls laugh.

"Oh Sh*t."

Wait. Did I say something about a tape? That's a lie. My tape player didn't work. My cousin from Israel broke the dang thing when I let her borrow the car, and when I asked her about it, she yelled "Not on the brain, Menachem. Not on the brain." (Menachem's my Hebrew name.) Anyways, whilst delivering pizza (one of 7 jobs I went through in the summer of '93), the engine went up in flames, and she was retired to my grandfather's driveway. Then one morning he woke up and said "Who's car is that in our driveway??" and then called the tow company to take it to the junkyard.

And that was all she wrote for the Olds.

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Noah's laughing his stinking a** off right now. Well screw him! He was one of those rich kids who drove the Cherokees and stuff. You shouldn't laugh at people less fortunate, Noah! And I'd say something to you too, Paul, but you're driving the most feminine car on the road right now. And oh. Oh really? Es tu, Steve? I'd say something to you but you prolly don't even have a whip! TO HELL WITH ALL FOUR OF YA'S!!!

Wait a minute ... you're all from Philly.

HAHAHA.

E-A-G-L-E-S!!!!

HAAAAAA!!!!!

Peace, love, light, understanding, good health and gas money,

Herbs

PS - Happy Birthday, Elaine!!!

PPS - Happy Birthday, J. Period!!!!

PPPS - Congratulations, wifey! Faust ain't ready!!!

PPPPS - Dallas, you're HYSTERICAL!

Herbert's Gigs
Looking for a gig Thursday and/or Sunday. Challah!!

every friday - the freedom party - discotheque (17 w.19th b/w 5th + 6th)
#1 friday night dance event in NYC - grand opening saw over 1100 people!!
classic hiphop/classic r&b/80s/dancehall/classic house/new soul/funk
$6 funky cold medinas - cool people! - cheap drinks/cover - dope vibe!
NOW more room to dance - NOW easier bar access - NOW a dope sound system!
(and a back room boasting a sexy lounge for all y'all bullshi**ers!!!)
10 to 4 - $5/$7/$10 list ... $10/$15 g.a. - rsvp: djherbert@earthlink.net

every saturday - social club (14 e. 27th st b/w 5th + madison)
the "fu*k sophistication" saturday bash -- dance floor extended!!
hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock/house/classics by me - main floor
a mix of the same sort of music downstairs by slynkee and cel
look sharp - ladies free b4 12 - $15 - rsvp djherbert@earthlink.net

Message DJ Herbert and tell him what you think

DJ Herbert

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