Features

The Herbert Hollar

Word To Herbert
"Ah ah ah-wooooooo?"

That was my Ersher impression. How funny is that new joint, when Lil' Jon slows it down and gets all sexy-like? Sounds like Barry White and Cookie Monster had a kid. And how ... bad (sorry) is this rhyme: "50, uh! Bentley, uh!" That's just too much for a Herbert. "Herbert, uh! Sherbert, uh!" SEE???? Rapping is easy!!!! Nah. No it ain't. I saw Vinnie from Naughty by Nature last week at the Social Club, and maybe 3 people (including myself) knew who he was. Peeps jumping around to Fat Joe and Lloyd Banks and then "Uptown Anthem" comes on and it's like ... why? Sad. Now, when Cosi dropped "Uptown Anthem" at FREEDOM on Friday, it was a different story. Chicks would've lined up at Vinnie's booth. (Or something like that.) You know we brought about 500 plus people down to the spot, and there was a line all night, and word is getting around because we had a whole boat-load of never-seen-befores, and my inbox is filled up with "I had such a good time" and "I don't remember the last time I've been to a party this good" and "I haven't gone out like that in a minute, dogs."

Herbert, uh. Sherbert, uh.

Big shout out to Cosi (djcosi@hotmail.com) for holding it down all night. We were so swamped, I had to help out at the door with stamping hands. Big shout out to Don Pooh, Paul Parris, and the best Sadat X look-alike I've EVER seen. "People when they see me in a jam, they be thinking I'm high ... No you see that's just my lazy eye." (What you know about that?) And how about all these promoters jacking the FREEDOM style? Seems like everybody's making their party old school, and now they be changing they're admission price to $5 and talking all this stuff about "non-radio" this and "non-commercial" that???? TOO LATE, FOOLS. I won't hate on 'em, though. I'll just sit back and admire like my seeds playing in the backyard or something.

Herbert, uh. Sherbert, uh.

Now ... Tuesday at Cain is another story. High-fallootin', rootin' tootin', fancy shmancy pants spending Gs on alcohol and flaunting the latest dips. I had to knock'em out the box, because Ken Tanaka told them I was so good and that I would kill it, and, well, er, uh, I did. The owners, the managers, the promoters, the bouncers, bartenders, waitresses and even potty-room attendants signed up on the Herbert list. They tried to turn on the lights at 3:55am, cuz all the VIPs went home, but NO! Herbert wasn't finished. I had some rock and roll to get off my chest, not-to-mention a little house-a-muh-kation fo they as*es. 4:27am, rather, guys. Get it right next time!

Herbert, uh. Sherbert, uh.

If you wanna come, you gotta get a table or be with all girls cuz it's like that. The week prior, Rosario Dawson and Paris Hilton and all the people I really could give two sh*ts about were there, so it's got a buzz. And now with me rotating in on the schedule, it's gonna buzz louder than my mom's 1977 washer and dryer.

Now for the week in news ...

How about the woman who's suing AMEX for "letting" her rack up debt? With the card they charge you $2500 a year just to have! If she wins, I'm going to Canada. Wait! Canada don't want us anymore. If she wins, I'm going to Israel, the motherland. (Yeah right!) Here's a hint, morons: Use cash. Don't buy something if you don't have the money immediately available in the bank. And don't let idiots tell you that you need a credit card to build good credit. Herbert has NEVER owned a credit card in his LIFE! THE TRUTH!!!! (I've seen the evil it does. It's satan.) And you know what? I have a ridiculously good credit score, so good that I could get a mortgage and be a stinking deejay. (Herbert, uh. Sherbert, uh.) So don't let them tell you SH*T!

From now till the week of, I'm going to have a list of NYE'S events. Do not write me and ask me for numbers and details, because I do this for free and I don't have time to do all that. I need to hustle and make money, ya heard me? Besides, the only event you need to know about on NYE is FREEDOM!!! It's going to be cheap, easy, painless, and most importantly, fun. Live telecast, dance floor and kitchen open till 8 in the AM, and the most beautiful, nicest people in town.

Happy Birthday Mickey Dread (let's go to Baltimore!), big shout out to DJ Wicked Wayne, Questlove from the Roots, V Smooth/Serge Sniper from the home of the illest party breaks out.

And all y'all. I love you.

DJ Herbert

P.S. -- Herbert, uh. Sherbert, uh.

Herbert's Hot Picks
wed(01): umbrella - herbert/NINA SKY LIVE - hiphop/r&b/reggae/reggae-ton
wed(01): nuyorican cafe - all that! - live hiphop/live poetry/live jazz - legend!
wed(01): green room - the legendary d nice/cassidy - old school/classics/soul
wed(01): apt - rich medina - old school/soul/funk/afrobeat/80s
wed(01): madame x - jon oliver - soul/rock/rare grooves/hiphop - 8pm to 1am
wed(01): cielo - kevin hedge/louie vega/kenny bobien's b-day! - soulful house
wed(01): suede - degree/noble - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock - HAPPY B-DAY, MICKEY!
wed(01): cherry lounge - sussone/camillo/live ish - hiphop/r&b/reggae
wed(01): joe's pub - dj sabo/dj nova - brazilian dance/latin dance/live drums
wed(01): duke + duchess - jus ske/q tip - hiphop/r&b/reggae/rock/80s/classics
wed(01): lotus - ani quinn/soul (rotate) - hiphop/r&b/80s/rock
wed(01): blvd - soulsalaam/dub gabriel - far eastern dance goodies you ain't heard
wed(01): ripple/bk - dj sanaqui - soul/funk/house
wed(01): serena's - dj av - hiphop - medina green release party
wed(01): afterwork/rumor - snatch 1/kaos/self - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
wed(01): afterwork/323 lounge - dj ronnallen - house - 5pm till ...

thu(02): odea - dj cosi - funk/soul/real hiphop/80s/classics
thu(02): guernica - mocha sunflower/selly/guests - house/old school/soul
thu(02): table 50 - q tip/mark ronson/guests - hiphop/rock/soul/funk/classics
thu(02): tribe - red rokk - hiphop/rock/80s/reggae
thu(02): ruby falls - soul - hiphop/r&b/rock/80s
thu(02): black betty/bk - monk one/emskee - soul/funk/classics
thu(02): discotheque - tony humphries/grandmaster caz - house/classics/hiphop
thu(02): joe's pub - miss mary mackalicious - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
thu(02): aer - m.o.s./peter parker - hiphop/80s/rock/reggae/soul/house
thu(02): viscaya - big ben - hiphop/rock/house
thu(02): cherry lounge - dj wreck (97.9) - hiphop/r&b/reggae/house/freestyle/latin
thu(02): sullivan room - dj craze/seen/ju ju/seoul/egg foo young - drumnbass/etc.
thu(02): crobar - larry tee/jon jon battles/pmd live/dirty vegas party - music
thu(02): snitch - dj xander - live rock and roll and stuff
thu(02): royale/bk - nickodemus/osiris/derek beres - good, drum heavy house
thu(02): quo - crooked - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock/house
thu(02): groove - china blac/eric roberson/musiq/jermiah/more - going away party!
thu(02): demerarra's - tommy bones/qu breaks/doc - house dance conference/hiphop
thu(02): 4X4/bk - dj eleven/cosmo baker/ayres/guests - soul/funk/old school/reggae
thu(02): sobs - rekah/eddie stats/sumeet - bhangra breaks future dance
thu(02): satalla - reggae open mic party - celebrity guest performance
thu(02): apt - roy dank/brennan green/martin moscrop - that next level stuff
thu(02): afterwork/kanvas - sweets - classics/soul/old school/r&b/80s
thu(02): afterwork/gallery - lucho/fabio soul - latin/brazilian/house - 6 to 4am
thu(02): afterwork/solas - harry bellyfonte - soul/r&b/hiphop/reggae - 6 to 1am

fri(03): starfoods - thank god it's freedom - the illest
fri(03): blvd/crash mansion - nickodemus/mariano/live drums - house/brazilian
fri(03): lot 61 - dj soul/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(03): sin sin - red rokk - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s
fri(03): hiro - van jee - house/80s/rock
fri(03): social club - big ben/guests - old school/house/hiphop/reggae
fri(03): joe's pub - snatch 1 - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/olskool - 1 year ann!!
fri(03): delancey - small change/guests - rare records/funked up sh*t/rock/soul
fri(03): mission - blessed productive/chris washington - hiphop/r&b/reggae/soul
fri(03): coral room - mada/finesse - hiphop/rock/house/classics
fri(03): canal room - big ben/danny o - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock/house
fri(03): luahn - guest djs - hiphop/r&b/reggae/house/soul/classics
fri(03): ikon - big ben/jcny/guest house djs - hiphop/r&b/reggae/house/oldskool
fri(03): 40/40 - marlon bizzy - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(03): cellar bar - barry gilbey/demi/k1w1 - house
fri(03): sullivan room - hector romero - house
fri(03): crobar - sasha - house
fri(03): na - stretch armstrong/lee kalt - hiphop/r&b/rock/80s/house
fri(03): gyspy team room - rocktakon/shimon - hiphop/r&b/80s/rock
fri(03): viscaya - ody roc - hiphop/r&b/reggae/rock/old school
fri(03): cielo - jo jo flores/nicolas matan - garage/afrolatin rhythms
fri(03): show - crooked - hiphop/reggae/rock/80s/house
fri(03): spill - scratch - hiphop/reggae - blade trinity release party
fri(03): triple crown/bk - emskee - soul/rare groove/hiphop/good ish
fri(03): roxy - camillo/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/reggae-ton
fri(03): vue - guest djs - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(03): quo - disciple/ettiene - house/live percussion/hiphop/soul
fri(03): romi lounge - dj eleven/knockout kings - hiphop/r&b/soul - fundraiser
fri(03): afterwork/time hotel - dj stylz/john quick - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(03): afterwork/vue - tijeras/jinx/RUPEE LIVE - hiphop/reggae/late night latin!
fri(03): afterwork/solas - dred preda the bed wetta (heh) - hiphop/soul/reggae

sat(04): social club - herbert/slinkee/cel - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock/old school
sat(04): southpaw/bk - dj eleven/cosmo baker/ayres - old school/soul/reggae/r&b
sat(04): etoile - goldfinger/precise - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(04): shelter - timmy regisford - soulful house - HAPPY B-DAY, ROBBIE!!
sat(04): starfoods - osiris/guests - soul/afrobeat/funk
sat(04): spirit - ski hi/jonathan peters - house/hiphop/r&b/reggae/reggae-ton
sat(04): route 85a - redlox/fuddy knight - soul/funk/r&b/hiphop/reggae/80s/rare
sat(04): joe's pub - dj eleven/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/soul/80s/old school
sat(04): chetty red - van vader - old school hiphop/80s/classics
sat(04): louis - jd allen trio - live jazz/r&b/funk fusion
sat(04): ida mae - rob flow - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/reggae-ton/soca
sat(04): crobar - david waxman - house
sat(04): arshile - liftkid/sleepyface/boo/florite - house/hiphop/r&b/live drums
sat(04): viscaya - ani quinn/aphrodita - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock
sat(04): plaid - derrick spaulding/peter parker - hiphop/reggae/r&b/rock/classics
sat(04): pm - crooked - hiphop/reggae/rock/80s/house/disco/classics
sat(04): 9 1/2 - skribble/em - hiphop/reggae/r&b/reggaeton
sat(04): opia/habitat hotel - hernan romero - live flamenco fusion guitar
sat(04): mars 2112 - snatch one - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(04): na - mark ronson/q tip/vanjee/massi voto - hiphop/classics/house/olskool
sat(04): cherry lounge - sussone/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics

sun(05): fez uptown - marc smooth/dallas green/dance - classics/hiphop/r&b/reggae
sun(05): 1073 atlantic b/w franklin + classon/bk - ruben toro - house + classics
sun(05): table 50 - rich medina/cucumber slice - soul/funk/afro/classics/olskool
sun(05): mouton lounge - crooked/dj eleven - everything dope - food/hookahs
sun(05): piano's - scratch famous/selector JD/guests - reggae/reggae
sun(05): 203 lounge - smooth c - roots-rockers-dub-dancehall/(reggae)
sun(05): pravda - obah - old school/soul/funk/afrobeat/80s
sun(05): deep - camillo/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/latin
sun(05): lot 360/360 marin blvd/jersey city - lou gorbea/guests - house

mon(06): cielo - francois k/guests - future dub/space vibes/house/anything soul
mon(06): apt - eli escobar/bobbitto/spinna (rotation) - soul/funk/disco/olskool
mon(06): sway - soul/guests - hiphop/rock/soul/80s - starts around 1
mon(06): 46 grand - dj o - old school sh*t/bboy battles/bamboo earrings?
mon(06): le souk - guest djs - house/trendy shmendy
mon(06): canal room - dega/platinum pied pipers - future dance/modern hiphop soul
mon(06): sapphire lounge - dj disciple jourgen - house
mon(06): select - stretch armstrong - hiphop/80s/rock/olskool - "metroselectual?"
mon(06): 9 1/2 - sussone/mos/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
mon(06): joe's pub - leron thomas live jazz - www.joespub.com
mon(06): afterwork/justin's - sussone - hiphop/r&b/soul/reggae - football - 6pm

tue(07): cain - herbert/crooked - hiphop/r&b/80s/rock/reggae/house - hot spot
tue(07): joe's pub - djs/live soul performances - soul/classics/hiphop
tue(07): union square lounge/coffee shop - emskee skittles - soul/funk/old school
tue(07): sapphire - eman/lola - deep house - happy b-day, miss boogie!!!!
tue(07): lobby - self/will from da bronx/dj m.o.s. - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
tue(07): sob's - osunlade w/live band - sobs.com
tue(07): select - big ben - hiphop/r&b/reggae/rock/80s
tue(07): afterwork/aubette - snatch 1 - hiphop/r&b/reggae/soul/classics

New Year's Eve!!! (running list ...)
freedom - 64 E. 1st b/w 1st + 2nd aves - herbert/cosi/marc smooth - $25!!!
lq - rob flow - hiphop/rock/reggae/80s/house/classics/disco/salsa - $125
ny perks - dj hud - r&b/hiphop/classics/reggae/soca/calypso/reggaeton/latin - $35
time hotel - dj harry bellyfonte/guest - hiphop/r&b/reggae/soul - $100
cipriani 42nd st - reach/exacta - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock/house - $150

Support Modern Dance!!
wednesday - december 8 - dekk (134 reade st, tribeca)
mariana bekerman dance company's gala fundraiser!!!!
live music - live dance - artists - prizes - raffles
7pm to 10pm - $8 - rsvp 718-445-4028

Herbert's Heard
1. "Most Precious Love" -- Blaze feat. Barbara Tucker (DF's Future 3000 Mix)
2. "Bridge" -- Nas (Remix feat. Olu Dara. Stoopid.)
3. "Virgo" -- Nas feat. Ludacris + Doug E. Fresh (Of course.)
4. "Red, Red Wine" -- UB40 (Do not front. EVERYBODY SING ALONG!)
5. "Livin' on a Prayer" -- Bon Jovi (I gave in and bought the CD.)

Message DJ Herbert and tell him what you thinK

DJ Herbert

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