Features

The Herbert Holla

Herbert's Hot Picks
wed(01): 17 - herbert - hiphop/r&b/reggae/rock/80s/classics
wed(01): cielo - louie vega/kevin hedge - soulful house
wed(01): apt - rich medina - soul/afrobeat/old school/funk/classics
wed(01): table 50 - nickodemus/osiris - house/soul/brazilian/afrobeat
wed(01): angel bar - scratch famous/teflon - reggae
wed(01): bOb - rholi rho/5th platoon - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s
wed(01): lotus - ani quinn - hiphop/r&b/80s/rock
wed(01): aubette - qool marv - soul/funk/r&b/old school/house/afro/world - 8 to 2
wed(01): suede - frank delour - hiphop/r&b/rock/80s/house
wed(01): madame x - jon oliver - soul/rock/rare grooves/rare sounds - 8pm to 1am
wed(01): canal room - dj synapse - soul/funk/hiphop/reggae/r&b - live music stuff
wed(01): nuyorican cafe - all that! legendary open mic/live music event - GO!
wed(01): delancey lounge - cosmo baker/dj eleven - soul/funk/reggae/hiphop/80s
wed(01): afterwork/rumor - snatch 1/m.o.s./self/kaos - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics

thu(02): guernica - blessed/reborn/selly/monica pineda - soul/funk/house/hiphop
thu(02): table 50 - q tip/mark ronson - hiphop/rock/soul/funk/classics
thu(02): ruby falls - stretch armstrong/jus ske - hiphop/r&b/rock/80s
thu(02): black betty/bk - monk one/emskee/cosmo baker - soul/funk/classics/disco
thu(02): spirit - dj kid capri/dj soul - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
thu(02): sullivan room - goldie/burner bros/mc armania - jungle/broken beats/etc.
thu(02): sob's - rekha/eddie stats - basement bhangra music, son-n-n-n
thu(02): quo - crooked - funky house/hiphop/80s/rock
thu(02): demerara's - qu/p-funk/doc - house dance conference/hiphop/breaks
thu(02): suede - ani - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock
thu(02): canal room - mad linx - hiphop/r&b/reggae - high fashion
thu(02): afterwork/jade terrace/china club - kevin lyttle live!!! - guest djs
thu(02): afterwork/ole/pavonia/nj - dj mark. t/aldo - house/80s/dance classics - 5
thu(02): afterwork/manhatta - dj eleven/mOma - soul/hiphop/classics
thu(02): afterwork/kanvas - dj sweets - hiphop/70s/80s - 6PM

fri(03): starfoods - thank god it's freedom - the illest - see gigs below!
fri(03): frying pan - nickodemus/mariano/guests - house/brazilian/new dance music
fri(03): union square lounge - marlon d/guests - deep house
fri(03): ruby lounge - dj ola - hiphop/funk/reggae/classics/80s/r&b
fri(03): show - crooked - hiphop/reggae/80s/rock/house
fri(03): circle line cruise - louie vega/lou gorbea - deep soulful house
fri(03): piano's - small change/guests - crazy vinyl/rarities/soul
fri(03): spirit - louie devito/big ben/lucho - trance/hiphop/r&b/reggae/latin
fri(03): open air - evil d/butta l/mr. walt - hiphop/soul/80s/reggae/old school
fri(03): luahn - reborn/mary mac/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/deep house/classics
fri(03): lot 61 - dj soul - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(03): joe's pub - guest djs - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/old school
fri(03): 337 w. broadway/grand - soulfinger sam/boodakhan - soul/r&b/rap/reggae
fri(03): mouton - dj carol c/neil ochea on drums - brazilian beat/house/classics
fri(03): viscaya - ody rock - hiphop/rock/80s/old school/r&b
fri(03): autumn skate bowl/67 west st/bk - premier/green lantern/live art - 8pm
fri(03): etoile - ski-hi - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(03): crobar - whitmore/exact/todd mallis/lee kalt - house/hiphop/80s/r&b
fri(03): eugene's - kulcha - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics - happy b-day, envy!!
fri(03): m1-5/52 walker street b/w broad + church - j-zone/gregg nyce!
fri(03): fashion 40 - paris/john quick/stylz - hiphop/reggae/caribbean
fri(03): flo - john davis/guest djs - house in basement-hiphop upstairs

sat(04): spirit - herbert/jonathan peters - house/hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s
sat(04): diplomat/23rd + fdr - summer boat boogie - cosi - rsvp me now!!
sat(04): rehab - dj cosi (see freedom)/stimulus - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(04): mission - stormin normin - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(04): 40/40 - rahlo/k.o. - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/80s
sat(04): chetty red - van vader/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/old school/80s
sat(04): sullivan room - francis harris/billy velin/hipp-e - house
sat(04): southpaw/bk - eleven/ayres/cosmo baker - old school/classics/reggae
sat(04): coral room - sureshot - hiphop/r&b/80s/rock
sat(04): strata - ody rock - hiphop/rock/80s/old school/r&b
sat(04): viscaya - ani quinn/aphrodita? - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock
sat(04): birdland - lynne arriale trio - jazz piano - http://www.birdlandjazz.com
sat(04): jazz gallery - jonathan blake quartet - http://jazzgallery.org
sat(04): royale/bk - rich medina/osiris - afrobeat/afrofunk/afrohouse/afrosoul
sat(04): etoile - goldfinger/precise - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(04): shelter - timmy regisford - deep deep deep deep house
sat(04): plaid - big ben/peter parker - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/80s/house
sat(04): pm - crooked - hiphop/80s/rock/disco/house/reggae

sun(05): idol - herbert - soul/funk/reggae/r&b/classics/old school/house/80s
sun(05): fez uptown - marc smooth/guests - rare groove/soul/hiphop/reggae/classics
sun(05): 337 w. broadway/grand - soulfinger sam/boodakhan/cosi - everything funky
sun(05): joe's pub - evil d/mr. walt/butta l - old skool
sun(05): lotus - goldfinger - hiphop/80s/r&b/rock/old school
sun(05): 32 newark st/hoboken - lou gorbea/great guests - house music - happy born
sun(05): table 50 - rich medina/cucumber slice - soul/funk/afrobeat - 8 to 1
sun(05): pravda - dj obah - soul/funk/old school/afrobeat
sun(05): taj - derrick spaulding - hiphop/rock/classics/house
sun(05): plaid - dj will/dj self/black terror sound - caribbean music madness
sun(05): cielo - rekha/darshan jesrani/falu/live visuals - bollywood disco!
sun(05): lq - snatch 1 - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/caribbean of course!!
sun(05): soho 323 - todd mallis/sal morale - hiphop/rock
sun(05): eleven - sid l/vaga/sabo/nappy g on drums - afro/latin/brazilian house

mon(06): eastern parkway - west indian parade - watch out for the big wheels!!!
mon(06): apt - cucumber slice - soul/funk/rare grooves/latin/uprock/old school
mon(06): cielo - francois k - future dub/space vibes/abstract grooves (aka house)
mon(06): joe's pub - eleven/cosmo baker - rick james tribute/soul/funk/rock
mon(06): pravda - dj obah - soul/funk/old school/afrobeat
mon(06): sway - guest djs/nyc style fashion and art - hiphop/rock
mon(06): 46 grand - dj o - street music, ya heard!

tue(07): joe's pub - guest djs/live performances - soul/funk/classics/hiphop
tue(07): sapphire lounge - eman/lola - house/deep grooves
tue(07): lobby - will/self - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
tue(07): mission - dj hud/mc frank jugga - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
tue(07): table 50 - swamy/john creamer/david vasquez/guests - house
tue(07): apt - champion soul/jamez nylon/mkl/spy music/roughstars live - soul
tue(07): coffee shop - emskee - underground/abstract/beats/rhymes - 9 to 2
tue(07): afterwork/aubette - snatch 1 - hiphop/r&b/reggae/soul/classics - 6:30PM

Herbert's Heard
"You Got the Love" -- The Source (Still. Until I find it and play it 100 times.)
"Sensitivity" -- Ralph Tresvant (Killed 'em at Freedom.)

"I Like" -- Guy (Ditto.)
"If It Isn't Love" -- New Edition (".)
"Dial My Heart" -- The Boys (See above.)

Word As Bond
Wassup everybody. How are things? Good? That's good. Things are really good for me because I whipped my cousin's ass in ping pong! That's right, y'all. Team USA (me) and Team Israel (my cousin Yoav) have been at it for a very long time, ever since the '80s when I my dad bought me a ping-pong table for my 14th birthday. Whenever my cousin came into town, he always put a pretty hard beating on me. He had some type of Middle Eastern twang, kind of like the Chinese style of gripping and hitting, but more like a remix on that style. Alas, every summer, I lost to this monster of a ping-pong player. But not this Summer! This Summer Herbert won the gold and brought the glory back to the States, and oh what a great win it was! My cousin was cursing and yelling at me, and then things got really heated and he started making fun of me and wacking the ball at my head on purpose, and then he ended up taking his shirt off he was so heated and pissed, only to be reprimanded by the Chinese owner of the joint (who was probably already pissed of he was jacking the Chineses style) who came over and said "Put shirt back on please."

Hahahahha. Sorry, Yoav. Not this time, bit*h!! And that goes for any of you out there who thinks you can take me, the 1984 Jewish Community Center Teen Champion, the 1985 Camp Nock-a-Mixon Summer 5th Grade Champion and the 1987 Nevele Ski Resort Christmas Season Champion (I got all the trophies to prove it, punks). bring it on!!

Now ... before I get into my MTV Video Music Awards review, let's talk about Freedom. It was a dead weekend, they said. People skipped town to get away from the National Republican Convention, they said. There are like 5 other events going on, not-to-mention it's one of the last weekends of the summer, they said they said. I say "nonsense!" (Oooh that's mean.) Freedom was packed!!! As always!!! As usual!!! There was a ridiculous amount of girls there for most of the night, and you know Herbert had to play "Sex Shooter" (the song, sweetie, the song. Not me, I'm didn't play sex shooter, it's the name of the song. You know I love you and you alone, okay?) and all the Janet Jackson and Prince and all that sexy '80s.

You know what? Our party's so dope, we even had somebody in there who--get this--tried to sabotage our party by pulling out a speaker cord. And when all that sound was redirected to one speaker, and that speaker blew, we thought it'd be a wrap, cuz all we had was this one clock-radio monitor from my mom's basement Cosi and I use to mix ...but no!! People just sang the whole song, lifting their voices to the heavens, singing out loud like they never did before, because they love music, and that's what this party is about. F your models, F your new Nike airs, F your studded leather wrist bands and your sport coat over jeans and come down to Freedom and free your soul, free your mind, free your tushes! It's the illest party. Don't front. Stop lying. Don't be a ... a ...419. Yeah, I said it. Herbert had a long, serious discussion with a Nigerian cab-driver and he told me what's what. 419 means a fake, a charlatan, a phony, a mountebank! I.E. you if you don't come to my party because you wanna hear "Yeah" 100 times and watch people dance to it in the VIP section.

Saturdays has also been outstanding at Social Club. Though I won't be there this week, the party still rocks ridiculously. And it's all females to begin with, thanks to the promoter making it ladies free before midnight and open bar till 11, so fellas, put down the Playstation 2 controllers and come out and buy some drinks and do something with yourselves!

Now onto the Video Music Awards. I love MTV, I grew up on it, learned all my hot dance moves from it, and I mean that, so please don't start calling me a hater or some counter-culture freak when I say this: This year's VMAs sucked pretty bad. The performances, the hosts, the crowd, the venue (barely even a stage). Maybe it was Miami, and that's how it is (all you need is a catwalk down there, I guess), but I don't know. It was just ... well ... poor. There was weird things going on with the editing, if you noticed. Like, when those "pop culture ambassadors" (the people MTV hired to go crazy in front of the stage) held up the Usher cards. Did you notice what happened when their arms grew tired? Some PA ran by them and poked them with something and they put the cards back up. Crazy. And what's with all that camera time for ... Bruce Willis? Huh? I mean, I love the guy, 'cuz he's the only guy out there with a head bigger than mine, but ... what? Maybe he's got a movie coming up that MTV's involved with financially. That might be it. That might also be the reason they played a snippet of Mase's new song, because that ish ain't that popular. But business is business I guess. Ya know?

Props to Will Smith's agent--he was the only star that "looked" like he still listens to rap music. Everyone else was in button-downs and slacks. And then, of course, there's La La. I still don't know what the F she be saying when she be saying what she be saying. It all comes out like ... like ... blah-blah-la-la-la (maybe that's where she got her name). Just slow down a little bit, girl, lemme hear what you gotta say. Now what about Jessica Simpson. Did you hear her?? What was she on? Was she drunk? Was she sick? Did she suck on some helium for fun prior to her piece? I mean, that ish is fun. We all did it once. Suck on a little helium and then say "hey guys, what's going on" in an Alvin and the Chipmunks voice. All I know is, she has a good voice, but she messed it all up somehow. And who's JoJo? Okay, okay, so Alicia messed up and said "ethniticity." Ish happens. You can still be edumacated and mess up a word or two, so who cares. She did her thing next to Stevie, and I salute her for it. But why did Sway have to beg the audience for a standing ovation for Stevie? Did you notice they didn't even give a darn he was there? And let's not even get into the Ray Charles thing. MTV had to zap those kids with the stick repeatedly to get them to applause for that number. Sheesh!

But hey ... at least we got Bruce Willis!

Honestly, I really ain't just hating. I ate MTV every night for dessert after the chicken and rice, the peas and carrots, alongside the apple sauce with little white medicine balls for good cocky (whoa ... went too far). I remember the first award going to the "Money for Nothin'" video and all that. I love and still, to this day, want my MTV. Just no side order of bad VMA, please.

Peace and farewell to DJ Mark T, a great DJ and even greater music lover and dancer. Nobody can jump as high as that fool during "Hot Music." We will miss you, and we do expect to visit you down South soon. Also big shout out to my girl for putting me on to this dope Lebanese restaurant on 15th and ... 7th, I believe? Food is damn damn good. And last, the #1 Protest Sign I've Seen This Week:

"Bush is pussy."

That's right. Bush is pussy, yo.

Peace, love, understanding, good health and no arguing,

Herbert's Gigs
tonight - the rich bi*ch party - 17 (37 West 17th St b/w 5th + 6th)
herbert's hired again for the hottest hump-day party in nyc!!!
hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock/classic house by herbert, ya herb?
very exclusive - dress really really sharp - models/bottles/etc.
10pm - $20 - free if ya get a table!! - rsvp djherbert@earthlink.net

every friday - freedom - starfoods (64 e. 1st b/w 1st+2nd aves)
#1 funnest friday night dance party in nyc, son-n-n-n!
classic hiphop/soul/dancehall/80s/house/classic r&b/funk
$6 peach punch - food till 2am - dancing - come as you are!!
$5 before 2am, $7 after - rsvp djherbert@earthlink.net

this saturday - club spirit - vip room (530 w 27th b/w 10th + 11th)
huuuuge saturday night cameo for the herbster (filling in for riz!)
hiphop/r&b/reggae/reggaeton/80s/touch of classic house by moi!!!
look sharp - some big club steez - $25 - rsvp djherbert@earthlink.net

sunday - new gig - labor day celebration - idol (166 1st ave b/w 10 +11)
big stan's so f-ing cool new sunday night new york city style party - SERIOUS!
a mix of everything soulful, everything funky, with a touch of new hits
10 to 4 - guys $10/ladies free - free vodka 10-11 - rsvp djherbert@earthlink.net
believe the hype: http://www.bigstanco.com/laborday.htm

Message DJ Herbert and let him know what you think

DJ Herbert

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