Features

The Herbert Holla

Herbert's Hot Picks
wed(31): 6's + 8's (old 205 club) - jazzy jeff/qool marv - hiphop/soul/old school
wed(31): canal room - sweetback live/king britt - nusoul/nujazz/house - 8PM doors
wed(31): apt - rich medina/guest djs - soul/afrobeat/old school/funk/classics
wed(31): angel bar - scratch famous/teflon - reggae
wed(31): marquee - stretch armstrong - rock/old school/hiphop
wed(31): show - dj reach/jus-one - hiphop/rock/80s/r&b/reggae
wed(31): play - dj carl blaze/todd 1 - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/classics
wed(31): afterwork/rumor - snatch 1/m.o.s./self/kaos - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
wed(31): afterwork/mission - tanya stephens showacse/guest djs - reggae - 7PM
wed(31): aubette - qool marv - soul/classics/world beat/hiphop/r&b - 8PM to 2AM
wed(31): flat - guest djs - rock/soul/electro - fader mag party
wed(31): blo - dj naomi - hiphop/80s/rock/soul/r&b - WOMEN ONLY - www.cakenyc.com

thu(01): tonic - dj herbert - hiphop/rock/soul/house/80s - 8PM to 2AM
thu(01): guernica - blessed/selly/reborn/monica pineda - soul/funk/house/hiphop
thu(01): crobar - am/soul/airloom - hiphop/rock/r&b/house/reggae/80s
thu(01): sob's - rekha/phil money - bhangra music - happy birthday!!!!
thu(01): jazz standard - claudia acuna quartet - www.jazzstandard.net
thu(01): southpaw/bk - wordsworth live/masta ace live/eclipse/avee - hiphop - 8PM
thu(01): marquee - reach - hiphop/r&b/rock/80s
thu(01): afterwork/kanvas - dj sweets - hiphop/70s/80s - 6PM
thu(01): afterwork/flat - dj elle - hiphip/soul/reggae/old school/classics - 6PM
thu(01): afterwork/deep - judy torres live/lucho/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/latin
thu(01): afterwork/tangerine - do it - hiphop/reggae/classics - 6PM till 2AM
thu(01): suede - ani - hiphop/r&b/old school
thu(01): show - strecth armstrong/ody rock - hiphop/rock/old school
thu(01): pm - crooked - hiphop/funk/soul/classics/80s/house
thu(01): manhatta - max glazer/edwin houghton - reggae/reggae/reggae/reggae/reggae
thu(01): joe's pub - mary mack - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
thu(01): rumor - sure shot/jlayne - new soul/classics/house

fri(02): starfoods - thank god it's freedom - the illest - see gigs below!
fri(02): plaid - big ben/peter parker - hiphop/r&b/rock/80s/reggae/classics/house
fri(02): volume - francoise k/matthias heilbronn - house music - giant step!!!
fri(02): afterwork/madame x - liftkid - hiphop/r&b/reggae/house/80s/nujazz - 6PM
fri(02): bb king's - red alert!!! - hiphop/r&b/reggae/old school/classics
fri(02): blvd - spinbad/reach/jus-ske/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/rock/80s/house
fri(02): etoile - snatch one/smoove c - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(02): lunhbox diner/west side hwy - dj dollar bill - hiphop/reggae/r&b/classics
fri(02): arc - db/frankie bones/soulslinger/on-e/joeski/keoki - nasa reunion!!!!!
fri(02): play - jozen/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/old school
fri(02): mars 2112 - kulcha - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(02): joe's pub - guest djs - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/old school
fri(02): planet 28 - guest djs - 70s + 80s soul classics/deep, jazzy, gospel house

sat(03): lot 61 - herbert - hiphop/r&b/80s/reggae/rock/house
sat(03): cafe deville - cosi/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/house/80s
sat(03): mars 2112 - self/legend sounds - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(03): satalla - tapestry world music dance party - guest djs
sat(03): savannah - snatch one/showcase bashment - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(03): vue - spin one/roy/andre - latin/brazilian/hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(03): sullivan room - dave mothersole/francis harris - house/techno
sat(03): nv - ski hi/will/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/soca/latin
sat(03): metronome - big ben/lucho - hiphop/r&b/reggae/latin/house
sat(03): 40/40 - rahlo/k.o. - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/80s
sat(03): coral room - reach friedman - hiphop/r&b/80s/rock
sat(03): plaid - stretch armstrong/riz - hiphop/r&b/reggae/rock/80s
sat(03): discotheque - hud - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(03): shelter - timmy regisford - house!
sat(03): guernica - mano/ola - hiphop/reggae/house/old school/80s
sat(03): pm - crooked - hiphop/funk/soul/classics/80s/house
sat(03): chetty red - van vader - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/classics/old school
sat(03): float - s&s - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(03): halcyon/bk - dub is a weapon/dr. israel's bk dub - dub/reggae/roots

sun(04): fez uptown - marc smooth/guests - rare groove/soul/hiphop/reggae/classics
sun(04): joe's pub - evil d/lord sear/butta l - classic hiphop/reggae/old school
sun(04): pravda - obah - soul/funk/old school/afrobeat
sun(04): lotus - soul - hiphop/80s/r&b/rock/old school
sun(04): halcyon/bk - dj olive/bbq! - house/tech - 4PM to midnight
sun(04): nocturne - shobiz - hiphop/r&b/classics/reggae
sun(04): anju - goldfinger/kulcha/hud - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sun(04): eugene's - crooked - hiphop/funk/soul/classics/80s/house

mon(05): apt - cucumber slice - soul/funk/rare grooves/latin/uprock/old school
mon(05): cielo - francois k - future dub/space vibes/abstract grooves (aka house)
mon(05): sway - citizen kane/preservation - rock/soul/reggae/old school/hiphop
mon(05): lot 61 - reach/ody rock - hiphop/reggae/rock/house/r&b
mon(05): anju - dj big kap - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
mon(05): sapphire lounge - guest djs - house/soul

tue(06): joe's pub - guest djs/live soul performances - soul/funk/classics/hiphop
tue(06): open air - jlayne/elijah - rare grooves/70s/80s/old school/house
tue(06): afterwork/2nd nature - stimulus - soul/funk/rock/afrobeat/hiphop/r&b
tue(06): afterwork/bar below/bk - ayana soyini - reggae - 7PM
tue(06): afterwork/climate 8 - derrick spaulding - salsa/merengue/house/olskool
tue(06): pangea - crooked - hiphop/rock/classics/house/old school/r&b
tue(06): sapphire lounge - eman/lola/guests - house
tue(06): belmont lounge - qool marv - soul/funk/r&b/old school/house/afro/world
tue(06): nocturne - spinbad/cassidy/reach - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
tue(06): suite 16 - stretch armstrong - hiphop/rock/old school/80s
tue(06): social club - camillo - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics

Herbert's Heard
"Optimo" -- Liquid Liquid
"Turn Me On" -- Kevin Lyttle
"Couldn't Hear Me Over the Music" -- Eric Roberson
"Dial 7" -- Digable Planets
"The May 4th Movement" -- Digable Planets
"Graffiti" -- Digable Planets
"9th Wonder" -- Digable Planets

Word To Herbert
Yes yes, y'all. To the beat, y'all. Herbert's here, y'all. Holler back, y'all.

What's really really really really good? (That's the new ish, by the way. Really times 4.) I'm feeling alright cuz my big toochis has been to the gym a bunch of times these past couple of weeks, and I've got this little spring in my step, you know? Oh, that reminds me. If you're going to hit the treadmills at the gym, and you stretch out, make sure you stop by the bathroom first. You know all that stretching opens up your ... channels and what-not, so you need to expel whatever you got cooking beforehand. I was running a few miles the other night, and dude right next to me on the treadmill basically lets one go, and I was already having a hard time breathing, you know what I mean? I almost passed out, and not just cuz it smelled like rotten flesh, but because I'm huffing like a cow and taking huge breaths through my mouth and I think I tasted it! Ah God.

Let's stay in the same ballpark for a second. Do you know there's a new report claiming people who pick their nose AND eat it are healthier then the rest of us? Do you believe that?? They say nosepickers are constantly keeping their nasal passages clean making for better breathing, and boogieeaters are introducing bacteria into their stomach hence warding off future virus attack. Hah! No way! That means the kid we all made fun of in first grade has the last laugh. He's healthier than all of us right now. It makes sense though. I mean ... look at Biz Markie! Tell me he's not healthier than brown rice, huh? Remember his hit "Pickin' Boogers?" Did you know the original name used to be "Pickin' Boogers (And Eatin' Them Shits, Too!)????" Yup. That's right. Radio yanked the last part of the name to comply with FCC regulations. Anyways, check the article out for yourselves: http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_903083.html?menu=

Here's some more ish for the record. On Friday night, while I was working another beautiful, successful night at Freedom on the Lower East Side, my girl was working at Club Black, the old Exit. There were a number of performances, including a mad show by Busta Rhymes, Mario Winans, and Puffy. Now. My girl was shaking her tush in the cage and what-not, doing what she does better than any other female dancer out there, and all-of-a-sudden, Puffy comes by and looks right in her face and says "Beautiful." Yo. What??? What son??? That's my girl, yo! What should I do? Should I let him know who I is, who I be, or should I just chill? You know what I'm a do, Puff? I'm a let it slide, dog. It's cool, yo. It's cool. Do you. but if you ever come within 100 feet of my girl ... I'm a ... I'm a ... just ... you ...you'll see what I'm a do. Hoh oh ... yo! Son. Yo. I'm not the one, b! Not me. Not Herbert.

(She is pretty though, ain't she?)

Back to Freedom. It was hot again as usual. The weather was nice, the crowd was gorgeous (if I do say so myself), the music was right, the drinks were flowing, and love was in the air. Big shout out to DJ Sure Shot from Cornerstone, Beef, Forrest from KYA Entertainment, Wais from Da Rahnjaz, DJ Take 5, Pesci, and anyone else I forgot. The dance floor was jammin' as usual, and the biggest joint of the night was ... (drum roll) ... "Cool It Now" by New Editon. Holler!

Speaking of which, Paul Stuart better "slow it down," too. I figured I'd waltz into the store on Madison Avenue the other day, you know. I am a famous DJ after all--I can afford a little extra here and there, right? So I walk into this place, and they got all these suits standing around, waiting to help you find something, which shoulda had me turn right around and head out, especially when I saw one of them bringing out coffee and croissants for a customer. I told them I wanted a light spring jacket, you know, in the $100 range, something like that. Dude takes me to this section where they got these cotton microfiber coats which didn't look anything that special. I checked out the price tag: $487!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What??? Is you crazy, son? I can get the same coat with the same materials at fricking K-Mart for $27. How dare they? How ... what the ... what is wrong with the world when in one hemisphere, families are eating themselves they're so hungry, but a plane ride away, people are shelling out a year's supply of food for a stinking little piece-of-ish coat?? Anyways, I said to the guy: "Well, the price is right. Let me go get my girlfriend over here and have her pick one out for me. We're staying at the Essex House for the weekend, so I'll be back within the hour. Is that okay?"

This past Sunday, the boys at Mission put together a little charity event for the Lower East Side Girl's Club. Herbert was drafted for turntable purposes alongside Stretch Armstrong, Mark Ronson and Rekha (from Basement Bhangra). At one point, I saw all these flashes going off out the corner of my eye, in the middle of a mix, but I thought nothing of it. I mean, I am DJ Herbert after all. I have graced the pages of AM News, Time Out, DJ Times, countless websites and--the latest--Nytes Out Magazine (see the B'Lo party up front in the mag). I'm a walking photo op, you know? Then I realized that, well, as hot and cool as I am, Iman is prolly 10 times hotter. And then if it's Iman and Rosario Dawson, you're prolly looking at 100 times hotter. Yes, yes. They were there to steal the spotlight from Herbert. So they tag-teamed and got it back. So what? I'll let them live a little, you know? There's enough room for all three of us (in my king-size futon). Just kiddingJ! (David Bowie don't want none, but I have a girlfriend! Sorry, girls.) Anyway, it was a fun night, and then the after party at Mission with DJ Matt Treble was bonkers. I had 4 free whiskeys, and you know what happens to Herbert when he drinks whiskey.

I go home and go to bed! But not before San Loco's for Macho Nachos!

No more bread-based products for Herbert, though. I have to delete regular bread from my diet because Pesach is fast approaching. Pesach is the Hebrew word for Passover. Remember: When pronouncing the "ch" in any Hebrew word, it's not said like the "ch" in "chump" or "coochie." You say it like you are hocking a big loogie, like you are about bring up the biggest spitball you ever did spit: ccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh pitooie!!!!!!!!! Anyways, Jews don't eat bread to commemorate the time when our ancestors had to hurry up and skidaddle out of Egypt, leaving little time for the bread to rise. So we eat matzoh. It's like a big cracker. Cover the joint in cream cheese, and it ain't that bad--you can't even taste the blood! (kidding) I gotta head home for a couple days to see momma, and I'm all ready as heck to go and see some old Jersey shore summer friends. I dug out "Blow Out Comb" the other day and now I'm fully prepped!

Last couple announcements. Herbert predicts George Bush and his goons will put weapons of mass destruction themselves in Iraq and free themselves from any indictments. Also, a new reality TV show is looking for battle djs. Call: (866) 278-7780. And big shout to Mickey Dread, Troy Kristoff and the rest of Lot 61 Saturday night for pulling in a record 810 people! That ish is hot!

World peace, universal love, complete understanding,

DJ Herbert

P.S. - Aja Baxter!!! The "Society of Soul" CD kind a sucks. I want my "Sleepy's Theme" back. Now!!!!

Herbert's Gigs
thursday - club tonic (727 7th ave b/w 48th + 49th)
rock/hiphop/soul/funk/old school/house/80s
8PM to 2AM - no cover - huge new megalounge!

friday - freedom - starfoods (64 e. 1st b/w 1st + 2nd aves)
classic hiphop/soul/dancehall/80s/house/classic r&b/afrobeat
djs herbert + cosi lay it down -- dj marc smooth keeps it kosher
no dress code - dancing - food - $6 peach/cran punch
$5 on my list ... rsvp djherbert@earthlink.net

saturday - lot 61 - 21st st + west side hwy
hiphop/r&b/80s/rock/reggae/house
sexy + upscale + hot + dancing
$10 all night ... rsvp djherbert@earthlink.net

Message DJ Herbert and tell him what you think

DJ Herbert

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